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About Literature / Artist ClevinaFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Artist | Literature
United States
20, college student, occasional writer
I take photos, play the piano, sing, do homework, procrastinate, etc. I'm particularly good at the last one.
Stop by and say hi. :aww:

"The Price of Dying" (January 5, 2013)

"Recrudescence" (September 3, 2012)


I saw you walking past from the window and my heart almost burst. I don’t remember which part of you I recognized first: your face, with your combination of sleek cheekbones and nerdy glasses, or your green jacket, or the way you walked in a sort of funny but still dignified way. But I recognized you, as I always did.

I hadn’t seen you for so long that I stared in disbelief, the moment hanging in suspension. The fork didn’t make it to my mouth. I didn’t have time to reach for my phone before you disappeared from view. What could I have said anyway? I would have said a lot of things, but none of them would have interested you.

You walked past. I finished the last mouthful of cake. From your past habits, I knew you were heading to town for dinner. The thought of waiting for you to finish dinner and walk back the same way crossed my mind. I told myself it was stupid, but that didn’t stop me from sitting at the table long after there was nothing left in my mouth.
Coincidence at 5PM
As usual, comments and critiques are welcome.

Critique for tWR:…

-What did you feel after reading the piece, if anything?
-Is there enough in the piece to give you a sense of the nature of the relationship? Did you get an idea of the scenario/setting?
-What did you think of the length? Is there anything you think I should include/clarify or anything I should cut?
-Any other comments/suggestions?
62 deviations
We used to talk about many things, but since a few weeks ago our conversations have dwindled to asking each other about our respective love lives and doling out relationship advice, usually on my part. Not that I would know; I have never been in an official relationship, although I’ve been in several sort-of ones. But I guess that’s the consultant coming out in me.

You’ve always told me to follow my dreams, whatever those are. When people ask me about what I want to do in the future, my official answer is still “I don’t know”, as it has been for years. The truth is, I do know: I want to compose musicals. Except it sounds so much more far-fetched than consulting or banking, or public policy or developmental economics. It shall remain my little secret until I make it big, or it’ll wither away, unbeknownst to most people. To them, I’m just another Chinese kid studying economics, albeit with more musical talent and an unusual fondness for theatre (especially musical theatre; I love musicals the way you love good food).

After the third time you told me to “follow your dreams” (or the fourth time, I didn’t count), I asked you if working at an investment bank was your dream. You said you were still figuring it out. It certainly sounded glamorous when you told me you were out in a bar “with some other bankers”. It sounded like the life you told me you wanted. When you took me to the Bund that night in June, you pointed out to me in mock eloquence of how the Bund was ablaze with lights and the city abuzz with energy. The banks and skyscrapers and bars and restaurants along Zhongshan Road and the Huangpu River – these were places where the rich went to work and afterwards to have a good time. You pointed to a tall curved building across the river, brightly lit. That was where you were going to start working next week, at Morgan Stanley.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you murmured.

“Not bad.” It was a handsome building at night. (But the following week, when you showed me the view from a vice president’s office window, I was disgusted by the gray mess of buildings and roads and cars.)

As we crossed the street to head back to the subway station, you asked me if I could live without the bars and the good restaurants. It was meant to be rhetorical, but I answered yes, I could. You wouldn’t believe me at first.

“Imagine marrying someone rich. You wouldn’t have to work and you can go to bars and good restaurants and parties for the rest of your life.”

“Not for the rest of my life. A year, maybe. Then I’d get bored. I would have no purpose in life.”

You shook your head, still skeptical. “The world is materialistic. That’s how life is. When you get older you’ll understand.”

Sometimes you can be condescending like that, which I choose to accept. After all, you are a grade above me but almost three years older. I look up to you, at how popular and easy-going you are, at how you completed a challenging finance program a year ahead of most students. I used to envy the way you could be at your internship during the day and go out with friends at night, a different group of friends each day of the week. I had never fully grasped the meaning of “work hard, play hard” until I met you. But then, this was before Morgan Stanley.

After you started the second internship of the summer, our conversations started getting shorter. You started sending me messages at 8 pm my time and 10:30 pm your time saying you “just get home.” This phrase made the list of things you tell me most often, along with “follow your dreams” and “went to the bar with my friends”. In fact, I almost came to expect this message at 8 pm every other night. If you didn’t get home at 10:30, you were usually out at a bar or KTV with your fellow bankers, and I’d receive a message an hour later about a girl who was hitting on you.

“Is she cute?” I would ask, although after all the discussions we had about our love lives, I was hardly interested anymore.

“She’s okay,” you’d reply. “Not interested. Too much work.”

Last night, you told me you were exhausted from work. I wasn’t at all surprised; you told me this pretty often too, “so tired,” or “had a bad day.” But then you told me you met your “best friend for life” last night, the one you had been trying to move on from for four years, the reason for an evening of advice from me two weeks earlier.

“How did it go?”

“I wasn’t interested in her anymore.”

I thought that was a good thing, until you told me you felt as if you had no more capacity for love.

“We should help each other,” you said.

Someday, I may end up charging for my advice. But last night, I gave it free.
The Bund is Ablaze With Lights
A reflection about my relationship with my investment banker friend.

This is the first non-fiction piece I've uploaded on dA, so any critique or comments are appreciated.

Critique for tWR:…

-Initial thoughts?
-Did the piece keep your interest?
-How is the flow?
-What did you think of the length?
-Does the combination of past tense and present tense make sense? Is it confusing?
-Any other comments or suggestions for improvement?

Journal History

  • Mood: Happy
My first DD! :dance: Thank you so much thorns for featuring my work! And thanks to all the people who faved, commented and watched. I'll get back to you soon...hopefully. :)

What's been happening:
:bulletblue: I sent in all of my college apps on New Year's Eve
:bulletblue: I have my first college interview in two days
:bulletblue: I have three major assignments due this coming week but I got sick and I don't feel good so I don't feel like doing them
:bulletblue: I watched all episodes of Modern's hilarious
:bulletblue: I hope I get into college

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Add a Comment:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Clevina Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2015   Writer
Thank you! :aww:
Clockchat Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014
Hello! Thank you so much for making a favorite out of my deviation "Remover!" That was a looong time ago, but I've been practically extinct from dA up until yesterday, and couldn't recall if I had thanked you...Better safe than sorry! Thanks a plenty, friend!
Clevina Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2014   Writer
Haha yeah that was a long time ago! And I just saw this now, because I've been on and off dA too. No problem, I really enjoyed reading the piece.
birthdays Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's July 25th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014
Happy birthday! :D
Clevina Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014   Writer
Thank you! And happy birthday to you as well! :)
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
You're welcome, and thanks a bunch! c:
rainylake Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I hope you have a wonderful birthday! :cake: :party:
notsuperunnatural Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi!! Thank you very much for the favourite! Your poetry is fantastic!
Add a Comment: